Hello friends,
Kirk's day started with a bang. At around 3am last night he suffered a BEAST of a seizure. It lasted for more than 15 minutes. Which of course is totally insane and might kill any of us. Luckily Tim and Deb were sleeping in the room and could get to him even faster than the nurses.
In spite of all that, he's still with us. Way to give us an ounce of accurate info, doctors.
I got over there around noon. I hung out with Tim and Deborah for a while. We talked about the morning's events while we did any small thing we could to make Kirk more comfortable. His breathing is very shallow and very wet. At times even gurgle-ly. This loose phlegm, and various other liquids, in his lungs settle if he stays in the same position. However, he can't stay in one position for too long on account of bed sore prevention. So the nurses have to come in and shift him, which reactivates the gurgling. Things went like that all afternoon. There is the option of using the dentist sucker thing, but it is really irritating to Kirk and doesn't get much since he can so rarely cough anything up into his mouth. Past that Kirk slept the entire day. No doubt completely worn out from the seizure.
Tim and Deb left seeking food, showers and new clothes. I wasn't alone for more than 5 minutes before Roff and Tiffany waddled in. Tiffany isn't due until the 21st of March, but she's huuuuuge with baby. We sat around, continued to monitor Kirk and talked for hours. I can't remember the last time I spent so much time just straight gabbing about nothing and anything.
By the time they left to find the baby some dinner, Diana was out of class and came to hang out. It was all I could do to make her stay in class until she was finished. Though she reported she was just about worthless and unable to concentrate. Diana's been a very reliable visit companion. She's in love with the Tiffany and Nikki and we've scheduled to meet up tomorrow at the hospice as well.
We'll go day to day like this until it's done. I can't figure out how Kirk has fought for so long. Tiffany says he's holding out to see her baby. Maybe so. Though if I was full of that much morphine, I don't know if I could think it through that well. Regardless, Kirk's nurses tell us that hearing is always the last to go and it's very likely that he can still hear us. So we talk to him a great deal. Tiffany sings. Deb prays. Tim jokes and Roff and I laugh. If not for our situation, we might be having the time of our lives.
Until tomorrow.
-John
PS - Kristina has put up an FTP site. Feel free to drop any celebration of Kirk tunes, pictures, videos (Liz! The skateboard video!) in there. If you don't know how to use ftp or are having any trouble, just let me know. Thanks!
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This was something I had posted on my blog after I got this email, I thought I might share it here
A Magnificent Sunrise is About to Set
As a good friend of mine is approaching his last days in his fight against Brain Cancer, I have had time to think about the greatness of people. Specifically the greatness of Kirk really. I had been making up a crazy Japanese candy care package for Kirk and mentioned this at work. I said that it wasn't fair that such an ugly thing happened to such a great person. They responded back that sometimes an incredibly bad thing makes a person great.
At first I agreed, sort of that, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger" type of feeling. But then I got to thinking. Kirk was awesome before all of this happened. Kirk has always been great and has only become more awesome as his struggles went on. I don't really think cancer had much to do with his awesomeness other than perhaps proving to the rest of us what a fighter he was and is.
I think sometimes people are just special, and I think sometimes bad things happen to special people. Its just dumb luck really. It's not the bad thing that made them special, they were special all along. He touched lives before cancer, during cancer and I think long after cancer has taken him the Kirk ripple effect will still be felt.
He was amazing before cancer, took cancer head on and remained up beat and seem to have touched so many lives.
I think perhaps it is hard not to let cancer define you, to make you a number or a cancer story (good or bad) but with both of them I think less about the cancer he had and more about the person he was. He is like a magnificent sunrise. They come along only once in a while, not everyone gets to see them but any one who does feels moved by their presence and spreads the story of the magnificent sunrise they witnessed for a long time to come.
So I stand firm now, perhaps for some people cancer does make them great. But in the case of Kirk, he was great long before cancer. He will be great long after.
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