Just another quick one before bed.
Kristina and I got over to the hospice tonight. It's BEAUTIFUL. Like, hardwood floors, nice furniture, fountains in the lobby, door to an outside patio from the room. There's a freaking library there in the building. It's really nice. I'm so so so glad we got out of the hospital.
Kirk is...slowly shutting down. He is spending less and less time awake. His urine is getting more and more pink. His breathing is getting shallow and very wet. I think we're sorta just waiting to see which final system will turn the lights out when they leave. With the exception of some coughing he is very comfortable. He has round the clock attention from the nurses, a soft bed and plenty of warm, fuzzy drugs.
Kristina and I were there for a little while by ourselves. I hooked up a cable to the little stereo in the room so we can play from music from ipods. I put on a 99X mix for him.
Tim and Deb had to go back to the house and grab some things. Decorations for the room, pillows and blankets (so they could camp out in the hospice tonight), extra clothes, etc. When they arrived we sat and talked. They both seem much better prepared to lose Kirk than they were Saturday night. Maybe if we're in the hospice for a couple days they can get a short time out before the whole funeral madness starts.
The buried/cremated issue will be a hot debate, I assure you. Kirk had previously voiced a request, years ago, to be cremated and packed into fireworks. I get the impression that neither Deb nor Tim wants to cremate. I haven't really been involved with these conversations, but I think both are equally good options for completely opposite reasons. Of course you want to follow the wishes of the deceased, however I'm a pretty firm believer that the last person to care about a funeral is the person it's for. I tend to think that funerals are for those left behind. Particularly parents and family. So no word on that yet. Only that both sides have a good argument.
I haven't thanked all you guys for the encouraging words and prayers and stories and photos and LOVE sent this way in the past months/weeks/days. Thank you so much. I think once Kirk gets to where he seems to be headed I'll call everyone.
Speaking of, I've been sketching out ideas in my mind for a party. Outdoors, fire pit, projector for movies, plenty of good food, snacks and candy. Location is a big deal. Obviously Tallahassee would be better for more people, but least good for the Lawrence family. Regardless, I think I will be creating "assignments" of sorts with Tiff and Nikki and distributing them to you. We've got a sizable army here and I'm sure we could make one hell of a monster party. At the very least I might set up a PayPal account and take donations to fund such an event? All up in the air right now. Opinions and ideas appreciated. And CC everyone else when you write me! I want a melting pot of community ideas. Mmmm...melting pot. Maybe we need fondue.
My mind's really racing about this now. Let's also have you guys email me with your specific location. And maybe a brief estimation of your travel availability. Or on a scale of 1-10. Something like:
10 - My bags are already packed. I can be anywhere you want me in 24 hours.
5 - With some notice I can get to a party on a weekend, but I don't have a car.
1 - I would have to sell an organ for gas money, my house is on fire, I'm due to have a baby come out of my body any day now, or if I leave my house the clowns will eat me. (All things we can work on.)
0 - I'm on the other side of the planet. I'd swim back if I thought I would make it in time, but there just isn't any way short of a $3000 plane ticket that I could get there.
I don't mean to put the cart before the horse, but let's definitely start working on this now. Not that a living room hug festival wouldn't be fun and cathartic, but to accomplish even half of the celebration Kirk deserves, it will require a good deal of planning.
-John
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