First let me correct myself. This morning I said they did an MRI. I misunderstood Miss Debbie. Though they had planned on doing the MRI, they decided not to because they knew that it would only confirm what was obvious: the tumor was growing, putting pressure on his circulatory system, and depleting his brain function.
The strategy for today has been stability and comfort. They did pump his lungs again today to draw out any remaining blood. After, his breathing got a little deeper and much much less "wet" sounding.
I stayed by Kirk's bed for somewhere between 30 min to an hour. He makes small movements...like you might if you were dreaming...but occasionally very deliberate ones. For instance his oxygen mask was slipping off his chin. I offered to help get it back on and before I could touch the mask, he turned his head away from me. Stubborn to the end. I read him all my text messages and emails from everyone and let him know about all the people on this email list. I truly believe he was there inside his body listening. He seemed it. I was glad to be able to give him a deliberate time to think of all of you.
The rest of the day I sat in the waiting room with the family. We talked for HOURS today. About Kirk, about Tiffany's pregnancy, about modern education and the state of the country. These people are amazing and I'm so glad to have had the opportunity to be with them through these times.
Sometime around 6:30 the hospital staff has a shift change. Kirk's doctors convened and looked at his statistics. They called Tim and Deborah back to give them the bad news...
~The Bad News~
Kirk cannot have another seizure. If he does, it will likely be his last. So to prevent this, they've nearly doubled his anti-seizure medication. WHICH, is weakening his already weakened (by the seizures) heart. They can't take him off the medication unless he comes to. And if he goes into cardiac arrest, he's DNR. Kirk's balancing on the edge of a knife and the doctors don't think he will live to see the morning.
Deborah Lawrence is OFFICIALLY the strongest person I've ever witnessed.
She cried a great deal and led us in a prayer. A prayer for Kirk but primarily a prayer for the rest of us. She prayed for the strength to survive her son. And the strength to fight the devil that wants to break her down. She prayed for her children, her extended family, her children's unborn children and her bearded, white son.
I've only come home to write some email, grab some food and go back to the hospital. I just couldn't see myself sitting around the house under the circumstances.
I honestly hope Kirk can pass away soon and shed his "Chubbly Bubbly Suit" he's trapped in with comfort and with his family beside him. Should he stay in this state for very long it will be a tragedy for the hearts and minds of everyone. We started this in October and 5 months is a long time to have to hold your breath.
I'll continue to keep everyone updated and, should the inevitable happen, be assigning party-planning responsibilities. Gather ye sour patch kids while ye may.
-John
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment